When I was aspiring to clear the UPSC Civil Services exam, I used to wander around Delhi—especially Rajinder Nagar, Mukherjee Nagar, and the old JNU campus area—in search of study materials. Also, I used to search at the second-hand book shops, where old coaching materials of famous coaching centres were available for a very low price. In those days, I didn’t have much money to pay for coaching classes, and also due to frequent transfer and unpredictable nature of duty, I could not join any coaching classes either. Thus, the only option was to do self-study with good books and study materials.
Another problem was searching for good optional subjects for the mains exam. It was a common phenomenon that whenever a vast number of aspirants who opted for History and Public Administration topped the exam and many aspirants switched to those two optionals. The very next year say sociology and political science clicks and aspirants now switch to these two subjects. Thus, it was very confusing to choose the optionals too.
I remember once I went to one of the second-hand shops where the shopkeeper used to advise the aspirants about which optional subjects to choose. When I met him, he told me just like a veteran doctor gives his expert opinion to the patient, “Agla History aur Pub Ad ka chance hai. Woh le lo” (next is the chance for history and Public Administration, and so choose those).
I continued my search as a confused man.
One day, I found from a magazine that a two-day workshop was being conducted by Sri Shashank Atom, who joined the Civil Services and later quit the job, and was considered an expert in coaching. Along with him, Sri Jojo Mathews, who was considered a master in General Studies, was also going to give tips in the workshop.
At that time, I was posted at Saharanpur in Uttar Pradesh. I took two days’ casual leave to attend the workshop. I reached Delhi and met Shashank Sir. That evening, I didn’t have much money to stay in the hotel, and Shashank sir helped me by allowing me to stay with his staff in a small room upstairs.
The next day workshop started.
I was thrilled. For the first time, I was getting a comprehensive and overall view of the UPSC Civil Service exam. I cherished every moment at the workshop. I was very careful to note down every piece of information that I was getting there.
The workshop started with a motivational talk and gradually progressed towards discussing a solid strategy for succeeding in the UPSC civil service exam. Shashank Sir gave a detailed plan which was to be executed in the next twenty months. The initial period was set apart for building basics, and then switched towards covering the prelims syllabus. There was a plan to cover the mains syllabus in parallel with the prelims syllabus. Then there was also an action plan to prepare for the essay, General studies, newspaper reading, etc..Finally, there was discussion about preparation for the interview. There were also discussions about various optionals and the strategy required
Altogether, I came out of the workshop as a fully charged and geared-up man. I was on cloud nine. Now that I have got a proven strategy and a clear plan for the next twenty months, nobody can beat me, that was what was going through my mind.
I boarded the train to Saharanpur with full Josh. During the entire journey, I was mentally reviewing the class sessions and recollecting what I had learned. I noted down in my notebook again some points that I missed at the workshop.
Then came the tragedy.
The train reached Saharanpur, and I reached my accommodation place. As I said earlier, my mind was racing with full Josh. I immediately went in search of my friends who were also preparing for the UPSC civil service exams. We all assembled together, and I just poured out. I talked and talked. Maybe for hours together. I explained the twenty-month plan in minute detail. When I finished, it was late at night.
Then something unexpected happened. As I bid goodbye to my friends and came to my bed, I felt a strange feeling. To my shock, I found that I had lost all enthusiasm and zeal. I couldn’t understand what had happened to me. It was suddenly as if I had lost interest in the Civil Service.
I reflected upon and found that by giving a long talk to my friends, my mind got into a state wherein it was as if I had already achieved the goal. Now, it was not interested anymore in the Civil Service exams. The result was that I didn’t feel like continuing with the twenty-month plan and dropped it totally.
Many years later, while reading a self-help book, I came up with these lines: ‘Don’t talk away your enthusiasm’.
Then it struck me that what I had done after I came back from the workshop and talking to my friends was the same. I talked and talked so much that my entire enthusiasm for civil service was lost.
This was a big learning lesson for me, and thereafter, I made it a point to keep everything a secret till the final victory is obtained.
