“The opposite of courage in our society is not cowardice … it is conformity.” And there you have the reason for so many failures. Conformity — people acting like everyone else, without knowing why or where they are going.”
― Earl Nightingale, The Strangest Secret
Conformity is the tendency for an individual to align his or her beliefs, behaviors, and attitudes with those of the people around them. It often involves going along with the majority, even if you might secretly disagree.
What are the dangers of conformity?
John F. Kennedy once said, “Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth.
Conformity can lead to a “herd mentality,” or the tendency to follow a group without any questions. The group may consist of people in the environment where you live now, namely your friends, family, or colleagues. If the group is a happy-go-lucky type without any aim and ambition in life, you too are in danger of conforming to the same attitude. Thus, you subconsciously accept whatever your position in life is and don’t even dare to have a desire for higher goals or ambitions.
Why do we conform?
Man is a social being. For the sake of group cohesion, people copy the actions of others and do what is “expected” based on widely accepted social norms. Conformity is driven by a desire to be liked or accepted by the group.
Successful people don’t conform.
When we read history, we can find a number of great leaders who were not at all interested in social conformity. They brought about a radical change in society. When you read the biographies/autobiographies of Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King Jr., and Mahatma Gandhi, you find that they spent their lives fighting against people who wanted society to remain unchanged.
How to overcome conformity?
When I was posted in the Democratic Republic of Congo as a United Nations Peacekeeper, I got a valuable lesson that I follow to date. We were stationed at Bukavu in the DRC and staying in tents. After our duty time, which was normally 8 to 10 hours, we had enough spare time for leisure. We engaged ourselves in sports activities in order to keep us mentally and physically fit. In our camp area, there was a separate tent earmarked for library. It had a few books. After our arrival, a new lot of books arrived. Our commander was in search of a librarian. As the librarian was to perform additional duty after regular working hours, no one was interested. But as I was an avid reader and devotee of self-help books, I volunteered myself. Thus, after my duty hours for the next fourteen months, till we came back to India, I looked after the library too.
It came as a major boon to me. I could read umpteen number of biographies and autobiographies of many great personalities kept at the library . The real life examples motivated me and it definitely contributed a lot towards my own achievements many years later.
It was while reading the autobiography of Mr Nelson Mandela, ‘Long Walk to Freedom’, I came across these few lines, which were a major life lesson for me.
“Prison not only robs you of your freedom, but it also attempts to take away your identity. Everyone wears the same uniform, eats the same food, and follows the same schedule. It is by definition a purely authoritarian state that tolerates no independence or individuality. As a freedom fighter and as a man, one must fight against the prison’s attempt to rob one of these qualities.”
In those few lines, I got a clear message. I could realise the dangers of conformity. Also, those lines gave clear advice about how to stay away from conformity.
Mandela said that we should fight every attempt to prevent anyone from robbing our individuality or identity. The society you are now in does everything to take away your identity. In order to get acceptance, you too must oblige and go along with the flow. But you should realise this attitude of yours and take corrective action. You need not express your views openly against society. But you should prepare yourself to take action to realize your big goals.
I looked around and found that people whom I knew had very limited ambitions in life. They did not want to dream or achieve big. They had subconsciously accepted the defeat. I decided that I was not going to be like them. Though I lived in the society appearing to be same as them, inside me there was a thirst for success. And I decided to achieve something very high .
After achieving my dream goal, now I am in a position to say that in order to overcome conformity and achieve your dream goals, you should:-
- Think different
- Dream Big
- Set new goals
- Have a burning desire
- Visualize your success
- Remove self-doubts
- Overcome limiting beliefs
- Prepare like hell
- Associate with people who have similar aims
- Motivate yourself till the end
Finally, let me tell you the story of ‘Jonathan Livingston Seagull’ to motivate you towards your journey
This excellent story about how to overcome conformity is presented in the self-help book named ‘Jonathan Livingston Seagull’, written by Richard Bach.
Jonathan Livingston Seagull was a seagull, but he wasn’t like other gulls. He dared to be different. While all other birds in his community lived and flew only to scavenge food, Jonathan was fascinated by the idea of flying for the sake of flying. He longed to go higher, faster, farther.
As was expected, his passion was not welcomed by his community. They saw his behavior as rebellious and pointless. Thus, Jonathan was shunned and labeled a failure. Once left alone, Jonathan discovered the real freedom. Thus, he trained relentlessly, perfecting dives and mastering flight. In due course of time, he soared higher than any Seagull ever had. Once he started flying higher, he met others like him who helped him see a deeper truth, and the truth was “ you are not limited by others’ beliefs unless you accept them.”
Once he mastered the flight, Jonathan returned to teach the younger seagulls who wanted more than mere survival.
Jonathan’s story is a message to all aspirants. If you’re preparing for a tough challenge like the UPSC services or any other competitive exams, the world may not understand your drive. You will be mocked by the crowd or isolated. During those times, you should recollect the story of Jonathan Livingston Seagull and dare to soar.
Remember that ‘You were born to fly — not to fit in, but to rise.”
